Breakups are hard and everyone copes with them differently. For Redditor u/DJ_Duke_of_spook, it was all about revenge.
When his then-girlfriend went on a work trip, she notified the guy to pack his stuff and get lost — the woman was coming back with a new boyfriend. They were done.
u/DJ_Duke_of_spook was disappointed. He thought that’s not how you tell your partner you don’t want to be with them anymore. So in an attempt to get back at his ex, he bought 20 “noisemakers” (little gadgets that emit annoying sounds) and hid them all over the house.
The guy just wanted to play a trick on the couple but things went way further than he had expected.
Image credits: Phil Hearing (not the actual photo)
Image credits: amazon
Licensed psychotherapist Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., acknowledges that it’s difficult to end a relationship. For everyone who wants to recover in a healthy(ier), less destructive way, however, Goldsmith provides these 10 tips:
1. Cry as much as you want. “Let the tears flow, it’s healthy you are releasing grief and pain. You may be afraid to start because you’re fearful you’ll never stop, but you will.”
2. Do something every day to help yourself heal. “Exercise, read, watch some self-help TV/DVDs, learn to meditate and never underestimate the power of positive prayer. Pick things that you know will be fun or beneficial and do them. Don’t wait for the mood to come over you, take one action and then take another.”
3. Reach out for emotional support. “There are numerous groups for the newly single (more for women than for men). Just don’t try to tough it out or go it alone, support from others is healing, even if those people never become close friends.”
4. Don’t be a doormat. “If your soon-to-be-ex continues to call you or simply won’t go away (or move out), tell them you can’t heal with them around and ask them to keep their distance. If they are harassing or threatening you, it is best to call law enforcement for information and advice.”
5. Keep busy. “If you wake up early take a walk, go out to breakfast or do something around the house. Try a little ‘retail therapy’ (go shopping) or enjoy the decadence of going to a movie in the middle of the day. Many businesses allow their staff to take ‘mental health days’ if needed. If you can’t sleep, do the crossword puzzle, read or watch TV. Don’t sit in your room and ruminate, you have to free your mind so your heart can heal.”
6. Don’t mask your pain by searching for a replacement. “We all know the term ‘rebound relationship.’ These happen when we (unconsciously) use another person to fill the gap that’s been created by the ending of a relationship. These transitional connections can feel healing in the short term, but if you don’t process your pain appropriately, you will not be able to be in a fully committed partnership.”
7. Don’t spend too much time alone. “Hang out with friends or make new ones, go to coffee with someone you can talk to, volunteer in your community. You will need time alone, but if you isolate yourself, you won’t be able to fully process your feelings or get the support you need to heal.”
8. Trust your feelings. Even if you were taken by surprise by the breakup, your inner voice is telling you something. Listen carefully and you will hear that it will all be OK. You just have to let your feelings guide you.
9. Take your time. “Don’t rush out and buy a new car or move to a new home or another town. Major changes like those are merely a way of avoiding your feelings. Believe that with a little time, patience and support you will feel better and find love again.”
10. Research. “Find out what others, who have not just survived but thrived after their relationships ended, did to achieve peace of mind. There are some great books on surviving a breakup, my favorite is ‘How to Survive the Loss of a Love’ by Peter McWilliams. This little gem will give you insight, exercises, and some sage advice for dealing with this heart-wrenching issue.”
At the end of the day, it’s all about you!