How to find motivation and ovecome the feeling of hopelessness while living in a small town, having no friends and working a 9-5 dead end job?

I have a double-degree in Medical/ Communication. I graduated from college back in 2014 and I fantasize those were the best years of my life. In 2015, I cultivated in the big city. Then I was privileged enough to go to London to work with the UN/ WHO for a while. I got to meet beings, traveling, solve problems, aid other human being and so on. It was amazing. One of the one thing I worked on in London was how to improve their Public Health system in regards to teens mental health. It was so exciting and rewarding.

Something happened in 2017 that magnetism me to come back to my small-time hometown to take care of my family. I had to make ends meet any mode I can. I directed in a cinemad as a cashier. I wrote for thr town’s newspaper. And i ceased up working in an office do paperwork, talking requests, writing articles and sometimes handling the social media page of a bank/ medical insurance company.

I’m grateful for my job. It pays higher than most other options around here. I get to write, which is something I enjoy. My boss is an okay person. But other than that, it’s quite dead-end. My collaborators aren’t agreeable. There’s not much going on. Whenever I’m in the position, I exactly feel so empty, shocking and hopeless. And my memory holds wandering back to my periods in college and the big city and working in London. But those are no longer options for me.

I have nothing to look forward to. I have no friends in town. No girlfriend. All the people i grew up with once left to the big city. There’s precisely nothing.

I know it’s affecting my mental health issues because sometimes I would just cry while driving back from work for no reason. This has been going on for years. It’s like I’m trying my hardest to hold on to my past years because those are the best i’ll ever have. Now I’m lonely, I had not yet been friends, I have no goals in life, I precisely feel so empty. I can’t consider straight.

I really feel like life is so empty now. So far I’m hampering on. But I’m just scared I might go down a destructive course to get rid of the emptiness. Like drinking, smoking or taking drugs. What can I do to combat this?

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